Begin to Feel
by blackwellninja
Summary: Chloe takes Max to visit Kate in the hospital. Chloe and Kate find out they have more in common than they thought.


**Suicide TW for this story. Doesn't talk about it too much or in a lot of detail but if your sensitive to the subject you have been warned.**

 **Still super rusty are writing, so please be kind. Thanks.**

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"Thank you so much for driving me Chloe." Max said from the passenger's seat.

"It's not a problem. After what Kate went through she probably needs a visit from a friendly face right now." Chloe said, glad to be helping out in any way she could. The hospital Kate Marsh was staying at was finally allowing non-family visitors and Max was eager to get the chance to see her friend.

"I wonder if her mom and aunt apologized for what they said to her, those bastards." Max said uncharacteristically angry.

Chloe looked over at Max who was staring out the window, her leg bouncing up and down like crazy, she couldn't quite seem to stay still. What happened to Kate had really messed with Max and Chloe didn't know what to say. So much had happened this week but Max still found time to worry about Kate.

Before too long they pulled up to the hospital, it never took too long to get anywhere in Arcadia Bay. Max had already called ahead and knew what room Kate was staying in so Chloe just followed along not really sure why she was coming inside too.

Kate's room was at the end of the hallway on the right. Max hesitated before she went in.

"What if she doesn't want to see me?" Max whispered, turning back to look at Chloe, suddenly nervous.

"Don't worry. You were her only real friend in that place and you saved her life. Of course she wants to see you. I know I would have." Chloe said and squeezed Max's shoulder reassuringly.

Max looked up at Chloe, about to asked what she meant by that last part. Chloe's face burned realizing what she had said but before Max could ask anything else Chloe pushed Max inside the room and followed behind her.

"Hi Kate." Max said gently.

The late afternoon sun poured through the windows which seemed to make the whole room glow and the light reflected off Kate's blonde hair giving her a kind of halo. Chloe thought that it suited her just right. The more she learned about Kate from Max the more she though that Kate was literally an angel.

Kate wasn't alone in the room though. In one of the chairs next to Kate's bed sat a middle aged woman with the same blonde hair as Kate, Chloe figured it was her mom. Kate's mom looked up at Max and smiled kindly but when her eyes landed on Chloe's ripped jeans and blue hair her smile fell into a disapproving frown.

"Max!" Kate shouted excitedly and sat up in the hospital bed.

Max rushed over to Kate's side and gave her a hug.

Chloe on the other hand kept her distance, leaning against the wall while the other girls had their reunion. Chloe's eyes scanned the room, there was a large vase of flowers on the bedside table with a few family photos around it while a bunch of 'get well soon' balloons floated in the corner.

While Chloe was looking around the room she made eye contact with Kate's mom who narrowed her eyes at Chloe making her shift awkwardly against the wall.

Chloe knew that her appearance wasn't what most parents approved of but Kate's mom's obvious dislike made her want to be anywhere but here.

"How are you?" Max asked and sat in the chair on the opposite side of the bed from Kate's mom.

"I'm doing a lot better. I've been talking to the doctors a lot and I'm starting to feel a little bit better." Kate said.

"I think I'll leave you girls to talk by yourself a bit and give your Dad and sisters a call." Kate's mom said as she got up from the chair. "And Max I just want to say thank you from me and my family. You saved our baby and I don't know how we could ever repay you."

Max blushed. "Thank you but there's no need for that Mrs. Marsh. I was just trying to help my friend."

As Kate's mom made her way to the door she went over to Max and gave her a hug. Max made an uncomfortable face over her shoulder that only Chloe could see, causing Chloe to have to choke back a laugh.

Mrs. Marsh then turned to Chloe and gave her a cold stare as she walked past her and out the door.

If Chloe didn't already hate Kate's mom she sure as hell did now.

"So how is everything at school without me there?" Kate asked. You could tell from her voice that she was curious but was also scared to know what was happening.

"Everyone is acting bummed and upset even though they were the ones who pushed you on to that roof." Max explained.

"That sounds about right." Kate said with a small laugh. "But I know I can't blame everyone."

"How has your family doing?"

Kate sighed. "My aunt still hasn't talked to me, she thinks what I did just added to my sins. But my mom has started to come around."

"I'm glad to hear that, Kate."

"And it's all thanks to you, Max." Kate said and gently grabbed Max's hand.

Just then Max's phone rang. Max pulled her phone out of her pocket and looked at the screen.

"Damn, it's my dad. If I don't answer it he's going to freak especially with all the crazy shit that's happened." Max said. "I'm so sorry Kate I really have to take this."

"It's ok. I'll still be here when you're done."

Max got up and went towards the door. Chloe moved to follow her out but Max stopped her.

"Just wait here. I'll be right back."

Chloe stood there awkwardly, not sure what to do. She looked over at Kate who gave her a small smile. Chloe just stood by the wall with her hands in her pockets as the silence hung heavy in the air.

"I don't think I've met you before." Kate said finally.

"I'm Chloe…Price. Uh I went to Blackwell a couple years ago." Chloe explained.

"Hm, now I have a name to go with the blue hair. I've seen you around town, and around Rachel Amber. I've always wondered who you were."

"Really? Don't know why you'd notice me." Chloe questioned.

"The hair is kind of hard to miss."

"Oh yeah. I guess so." Chloe said and reached up and pulled at the corner of her beanie.

"You know you can sit down right?"

"Ah right." Chloe said and sat down in the chair Max was just sitting in. Chloe rubbed her palms on her jeans not knowing what to say next. She was terrible and comforting people in any kind of serious situation.

"So how do you know Max?" Kate asked and seemed to be genuinely curious.

"She's an old friend. She moved away and then came back for Blackwell." Chloe explained simply.

"Oh, so you're the girl she talked about."

"She talked about me?" Chloe asked, slightly flattered.

"She mentioned she knew someone who lived in Arcadia Bay that she hadn't talked to in a while."

"5 years to be exact." Chloe said, sounding bitterer than she meant to.

"So now you're friends again?" Kate asked.

"Yeah." Chloe said. It felt nice to say after all this time.

"I get it." Kate said. "Max is…magnetic. She attracts all kinds of people, she just doesn't notice it."

"And I can see why Max likes you so much." Chloe said and Kate blushed.

"So what else have you heard about me?" Kate asked quietly. "As someone from outside of Blackwell what do you think of me?"

Chloe didn't know what to say.

"Uh…most people think that it was a case a bullying gone too far."

Kate's face fell and Chloe's heart broke. This was the last thing Chloe wanted.

"But I know it was more than that." Chloe blurted out.

"Did Max tell you what happened? Or did you see the video?" Kate said sounding a little bitter.

"Max told me you were drugged, I never saw any kind of video."

"You believe me?" Kate asked in a shaky voice.

"Of course." Chloe said and hesitated before continuing. "Cause the same thing almost happened to me."

"What?"

Chloe took a deep breath. "I was at this crappy bar and Nathan Prescott was there. I needed some money and I thought I could score some from him pretty easy. But when we went back to his room he put something in my drink. Then the next thing I knew he was coming toward me with a camera."

"What did you do?"

"I kicked him in the balls and hit a lamp. Distracted him enough to get the hell out of there before anything happened."

"How hasn't he been caught? How can he just get away with it?" Kate asked and gripped the blanket on her lap tightly in her fists.

"Cause he's a rich asshole but he's not going to get away with this Kate. Max and I are looking for proof that he's behind all this." Chloe said trying her best to comfort her.

Kate nodded.

"You must think I'm silly for trying to jump off that roof." She said in barely a whisper.

"I don't think that at all." Chloe said concern heavy in her voice. "I know what it's like to feel like you can't go on for one more day. That every second you're alive is just more pain that will never go away."

Tears filled Kate's eyes and Chloe felt like crap.

 _Shit I'm making her cry._

Chloe hesitated for a second, Kate was silent and wouldn't look at anything but her hands. Finally Chloe decided and pushed back the bracelets on her left wrist revealing an old scar that she had kept hidden for a long time. A scar that Max didn't even know anything about. Chloe rested her exposed arm on Kate's bed, letting her take a look.

Kate was silent, gently taking Chloe's arm and brining it closer to her. Kate ran her thumb over the old scar that crawled horizontally over Chloe's wrist, making a shiver go up her spine.

"They say if you cut across you're just asking for attention." Chloe said softly. "Couldn't even do that right."

Kate remained speechless and for some reason Chloe felt like she just had to keep talking.

"It was after my dad died, Max moved away, and my mom had just started dating this new guy, who was a total asshole. I had Rachel around and she helped me a lot but it wasn't enough. I still felt like I was drowning in all of this pain and I could never catch my breath. And then one day I couldn't take it anymore." Chloe explained. "Rachel was the one who found me. I hadn't even cut that deep, just enough to pass out and be kept in the hospital for a couple weeks."

"Does Max know?" Kate asked finally.

Chloe shook her head. "She already feels terrible about leaving, if I told her now she'd never forgiver herself and she doesn't deserve that. She'll find out eventually but not yet."

"How do I get through this?" Kate asked after a few moments of silence with tears in her eyes again.

"I don't know." Chloe said honestly. "I'm still in it, I don't think I'm ever going to get out of it. I know that's not what you want to hear, sorry."

Kate chuckled. "Aren't you supposed to tell me it gets better?"

"It does some days but then others it feels you're back to square one and you have to start putting yourself back together again. But every time you laugh or smile know that there are things to live for and there will be a day when it doesn't hurt so much or at least that is what I tell myself."

Kate smiled. "Thank you."

Chloe took back her arm and moved her bracelets back in place.

"Sorry for taking so long you guys. My dad would not stop talking." Max said as she came back in the room.

"It's not problem Max, me and Chloe were just getting to know each other." Kate said.

"Oh, wowzers." Max said looking at the time. "I didn't realized how late it was, looks like we need to get going Chloe."

"You're going so soon?" Kate asked sounding truly disappointed.

"I'm sorry Kate, visiting hours are almost up. But I'm coming back tomorrow with Alyssa and a few other people from school." Max explained.

"Really? I'm not sure I'm ready to face everyone."

"You can handle it." Chloe said with a small smile and got up from the chair.

"Thank you for talking with me and um, you should come by again too, Chloe." Kate said shyly.

"I can do that."

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 **So I know some people have posted/talked about Chloe having self-harm scars and I don't really think it's out of the question or out of character that she might have tried to kill herself. But it's really just a headcanon for the sake of this story.**

 **Thanks for reading! Please review and all that.**


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